Archive for March, 2010
Why Every Teenager Should Throw a House Party
March 29th, 2010 by Ann
I think one of the most underappreciated parts of a teenager’s maturation is the high school house party. It seemed to me that throughout my junior and senior years of high school, someone’s parents were always out of town, and someone’s older brother or sister was always willing to supply us with “beverages.” These parties ranged from intimate gatherings of twenty relatively close friends, to door-bulging ragers (as in the party “raged”) that were sure to incite a call from the neighbors and potentially a visit from the local police to come bust up the party.
When it was my turn to throw a house party, I opted for the intimate variety. (Although, I highly doubt anyone chooses to throw a huge party. That was typically the result of the host being a freshman or sophomore who couldn’t keep people from showing up at his or her house.) Despite having just a handful of friends over, I somehow chipped my parents’ glass dinner table, left a few beer bottles in the backyard bushes, and one of my inebriated “friends” called a phone number that somehow left a $50 bill on my parent’s phone line. A bill I paid off over the next several months.
But in an odd way, it was important for me to both throw the party, and get caught by my parents. Throwing the party allowed me to contribute to the social fabric of my high school community. If you don’t take your turn throwing a party, it’s like always showing up at a potluck with the napkins. You might be there, but you didn’t really help it happen. More importantly, though, it taught me the repercussions of having drunken-idiot friends. Better for a teenager to get a sense of this at home in high school, than potentially learn it in a more dangerous scenario in college.
But above all, when a parent must confront her house-thrashing teenager, it’s a great opportunity to connect. Most teenagers think their parents are foreign objects. But seeing your kid sheepishly explain why there’s an empty Jagermeister bottle under your bed, is a great opportunity to let your kid know that you love, understand, and forgive them. Oh, and that they’ll also be getting a summer job to pay for the damages.
If handled correctly, your kid will get to stretch his or her social wings, and your understanding might illicit a “Wow. Thanks for being so cool, Mom.” Which is “I love you” in teenager speak.
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